With just a couple clicks of “virtually” reach out and touch the mouse, anyone can literally fall in love. There’s no denying it—match making and dating on the internet is in full effect, putting love at your fingertips! Now more than ever, there are countless dating and matching sites. Match.com, eHarmony and one of the latest popular dating sites, Loveawake.com are just a few. Once you’ve selected your preferred social assemblage and set up your profile with picture and personal stats, you are now free to mingle about and search for your potential mate.
With so many forms of communication available today, it’s easy to quickly develop interests and maintain a constant level of contact with others. Naturally, when we’re consistently interacting and sharing, the ability to grow closer is seemingly real, expediting emotions and expectations at a much faster pace. Where there is considerable physical distance, the desire to make physical contact is exponential and typically expedited.
However, unlike the real world, online dating can sometimes be…misleading. In the real world, you are who you are and what you see is what you get. In the virtual world, what you see might not be exactly what you get…at all. In the virtual meet and greet, anyone can be whomever they choose. With that said, every participant has the option of appearing and disappearing faster than you can say…”click”. While the Internet can be a beneficial vehicle for connecting people, it can also be a breeding ground for a cast of “characters”, who just want to perpetrate. In many cases, these people have neither the best intentions nor the kind of genuine interest that leads to a sincere love connection.
One complaint that many women have when it comes to online dating woes, is that the guy they made contact with, developed a liking to, and in many cases, actually made plans to meet in person…suddenly vanished, leaving her wondering, where in the virtual world did he go wrong?
Often the most common reason is that she’s left no rock un-turned and divulged too much, too soon. As it is in the real world, when meeting and getting to know someone, sharing too much too soon can send a guy exiting stage left, even before the curtain has risen. If you’re already professing your love and discussing Preschool options for your virtual kids (meaning they don’t exist yet) or if it’s simply beginning to feel like it’s getting too heavy too fast, he’s already imagining what that’s going to look like once he meets you in person.
Another reason is that he is simply one of those men out there that have absolutely no good intentions of being real with you, coming to visit you or even loving you the way that they may proclaim through the social networking site. Either he’s just looking for a quick ego boost…or a boost in other areas…or he may just be curious or not really available and decide to return to the reality of his wife and kids. Having the misfortune to “connect” with such a character can be disappointing to say the least, but if he does disappear from your virtual reality, consider this swift move as having done you a huge favor! His character and intentions were revealed sooner rather than later—preventing you from further heartbreak, emotional turmoil or physical sacrifice.
The best rule of thumb is to always trust your instincts as you continue to meet people. It’s most important that your potential mate shows you they are who they say they are, and that you know their intentions are true. A man can say anything to a woman but she can choose whether or not to believe it. Know and trust your real world instincts. They are almost always virtually true.
Has this happened to you before? How did you deal with it?